found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
