Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
