My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
