I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it wasn't lemon gatorade
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
