How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We need to get me chipped asap
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
