If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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