brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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