Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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you are never too drunk for berry picking
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
