What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
