don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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