I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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