Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
