yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
