She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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