i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
