On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
