SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
