My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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