STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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