Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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