i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
