Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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