I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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