I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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