She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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