Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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