At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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