is your mom at the bar?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
