she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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