I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
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