so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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