He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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