I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
only if we run a train.
done.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
