3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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