can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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