i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So much rum. So many feels.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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