How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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