Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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