shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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