This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
