Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
