The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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