dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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