It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize