Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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