is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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