6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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