after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
