you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
