Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
they need to just BURY HIM!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
