Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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