How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
What a dumb baby whore.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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