We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
