Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
