I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
