ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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