so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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