Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
