its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
