There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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